Guest Post from Abe Kass

Protect Your Love

For love, you and your partner married each other. Love is the glue that holds the two of you together. Without love, you and your partner will separate, either living your emotional and sexual lives separately or actually living apart. Whichever road you take, it is a road to sadness and disappointment. Keeping your love is the better path.

The truth is, remaining in love is not difficult. Be nice, be reasonable and be interested. If you do that, positive feelings will exist between you and your partner. However, there is a common threat to the love you have already created as well as the love that awaits you in the future.

As a pinprick is to a balloon, water is to fire and disease is to the body, anger is to love. I am not talking about the anger that lurches within bosom of a murderer. No, what I mean is everyday ordinary anger. The kind of anger a child shows when another child breaks his toy, or a teenager when she feels something is "not fair." I am referring to the very ordinary kind of anger that a wife expresses when her husband comes home late, or a husband expresses to his wife when she doesn't do what he wants. The kind of anger a mother has for her son when he brings dirt into the home or a father when his daughter speaks disrespectfully. Ordinary, plain, everyday anger that all of us feel (and many of us express)!

But don't be fooled. This kind of anger can be deadly. It can kill your relationship; it can ruin and ultimately destroy the love you and your partner (or you and a child) have carefully constructed. In a flash, like a hurricane suddenly picking up a home and smashing it to the ground, your love and security can be shattered.

Or maybe your love will suffer a slow death; like termites chomping-away at the foundation of your home. Let anger have free reign and it will eat away at your happiness and security leaving your relationship depleted.

So here is the point, and a simple one at that: CONTROL YOUR ANGER AND PROTECT YOUR LOVE.

Need practical suggestions? Try this:

-Put your mouth into lockdown immediately--don't say anything--when you realize you are becoming angry.
-When angry, count backwards from 100 to 1. Repeat until you calm-down.
-Take a break and call someone on the telephone.
-Leave the room.
-Take a shower.
-Break off the conversation and agreed to talk at another time.
-Take a course in anger management.

In the moment, if you feel that staying calm is impossible, remove yourself from the situation so that no one will get hurt. This way you can protect family members from injury because of YOUR lack of self-control.

Your partner should understand that the reason you are removing yourself is not to reject, rather it is to protect him or her from your anger. Thus, should you need to leave, your partner should not oppose or interfere with your efforts. Your first responsibility is to protect others!

Many people whom have had problems with anger, have learned to control themselves and to reestablish the love they once had. This process of healing can only begin when expressions of anger have ceased.

Love between you and your partner is the most wonderful feeling. And like all good things in life--your health, your money, your home--it needs to be protected. Keeping "anger" away is the greatest insurance policy that love will remain alive.

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Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., C.C.H.T., has already helped thousands of people eliminate anger from their lives. As a certified marriage and family therapist, he has the unique training and experience to understand how anger destroys relationships. For additional valuable information on anger management, download from his for website free anger management tips:

www.GoSmartLife.com/FreeAngerManagementTips

http://info.gosmartlife.com/Free-Anger-Management-Tips